10 May 2007

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings andhave raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon,though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even"A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it had raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels inFrance are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly andExcitedly" to "Plan Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "DisdainfulArrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have the higher level: "Invade a Neighbour."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO's pulling out of Brussels.


I LOVE foreign policy! The 2006-2007 NCFCA Policy Debate resolution was amazing, and I'll miss it as we go into domestic policy next year.


Mark Watson said...

Actually there is a third level in France you missed: hide and drink wine with cheese. It's right there below "Surrender" and "Collaborate", only highly classified to avoid rising to that level sooner than needed.

Nate said...

Gee, they better hurry up and rebuild the white flag factory.... What will their military do without it?

Josh said...

ROFLOL that was hillarious!

Allegra said...

Yup, I found this one...*nods* *acts humble* *is French* :P

It's so much fun making fun of the French! Check out World's article about the French giving themselves the lowest rating. It's awesome!

Mark Watson said...

It is fun to make fun of the French...

But are you totally French, Allegra, or just a little bit?

I have some French blood in me... And some British :-P. But my background is really mixed up, so it's not really surprising.

Allegra said...

Mark, we are not totally French...just a lot. On my mom's side, her maiden name was a VERY French name. I believe we are mostly French and British on that side. However, our dad's side makes up for it--my grandmother's maiden name was a VERY Irish name!

You know how it is with being in the mixing pot of the world...nationality? I guess I'm American! :P But yeah, it is kinda cool to see where you "came from".

Your background is cool!

And yes, it really is a lot of fun to make fun of the French.

Crystal Soldier said...

Yup, we're French, English (ish) and German, but not Belgian or Italian. I'd have to say yeah, we're 100% American...that's the only way I can put up with being French....*dies* LOL

Josh said...

It is fun to make fun of the french

No small wonder that they think so little of themselves. they have always been an anti God country.
alot of corruption. I am not shure about Napolians birth. But he is the only military guy that they have in there history with a victorious record

Crystal Soldier said...

It seems I would agree with the French on one point - that is, their opinion of themselves. They like themselves less than we like them! Will they ever get the hint that maybe God is kinda important??